Be yourself!

The notion of identity is a complex one. And we discussed it extensively as we were crafting our Charlotte In Red platform. Indeed, allowing female artists to present themselves and their process of creation, free from any preconceptions, especially gender related ones, is at the core of our vision and mission.

Personally I’m baffled by how pervasive gender stereotyping remains in mainstream media when it comes to portraying women. One of the most obvious displays of sexism occurred during a press conference for the film ‘Avengers’, when Robert Downey Jr. was asked questions about his acting process, whereas Scarlett Johannsson was asked about her ability to fit into a form-fitting suit. To which Johansson replied: “How come you (R. Downey Jr.) get the existential question, and I get the rabbit food question”.  Well, I am glad that more and more women have become vocal about this type of sexism in the past years.

But back to the notion of identity, or of true self. Truth be told many - if not most - of us, have been exposed to what others think we are or should be… and if this happens during a long enough period of time the sense of self can become blurred. Now, traditionally identity is defined as what is on the inside as opposed to the outside. Things, however, are not always that straight forward.

“We must not allow other people’s limited perceptions to define us.”― Virginia Satir”

In 2004 I went through a rough spot professionally, which put a big dent in my self-esteem. So I decided to sign up for a career coaching. My first task to kick off the process was to reach out to ten trusted people from different backgrounds and ask them to write down one thing that they particularly appreciated about me and one thing they thought I should be careful about or work on. To my surprise the answers were very consistent, even though these persons did not know each other; some were friends, others former co-workers or business contacts. Yet, these individuals were seeing very clearly what I no longer was able to see in the midst of my crisis. Not to forget, as stated by our first Charlotte in Red artist, Fabia Maia,  “I am every person that came to me and stayed with me”.

I guess what I am trying to say is that while our identity can indeed be distorted because of other people’s expectations, of norms imposed on us, we are also to some extent the sum of all the people we encounter in our lives, of people we interact with, be they friends or fortuitous encounters. Identity has a core, but it is also dynamic, continuously in the making. And sometimes these others can help us (re)discover what we are unable to see.

Now go out there and don’t hesitate to be your beautiful, imperfect self.